by: CCEMN1

I had the pleasure of meeting Hells Angels icon, Ralph "Sonny" Barger and his wife Zorana at Mike Corbins party in Hollister, California this July. Though more a Sport Rider than a "Biker," I have always been fascinated with Sonny, and I have to say, after meeting him, I am impressed even more!

Ken Kesey once wrote, "I try to be a warrior like my heroes and writing is just one blade on my Swiss Army Samurai sword." I have always tried to emulate that philosophy myself, and its not just Sonnys "warrior" aspect that I find fascinating, its more his tenacity and longevity.

Sonny was a founding member of the Oakland Chapter of the Hells Angels back in 1957 and has appeared or popped up in places as diverse as the movies; "Hells Angels on Wheels" and "Hells Angels 69" and books; Hunter Thompsons, "Hells Angels: The Strange & Terrible Saga of the Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs," and Tom Wolfs, "Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. He was at the Rolling Stones infamous Altamont concert in 69 and in 88 served four years in Federal Prison on unrelated charges. He has published about a half dozen books and gone from Ex-Con to paying the IRS a half a million dollars in taxes last year!

In 1984 Sonny was diagnosed with cancer of the throat after being a life-long smoker. He had his vocal chords removed, but taught himself to speak again, using the muscles in his throat. He now requires cigarettes airbrushed out of all photos and images of himself. Its that sense of decency and that perseverance that really makes me envy and admire this guy.

Speaking of muscles, Sonny at 72 years-old, made me feel embarrassed at the shape Im in at only 60! Sonny still works out three hours a day and is in better shape than most men half his age. The two weeks I was in California, Sonny and his wife had ridden their bikes from their ranch in Arizona out to California THREE times for book signings! Thats about 650 miles each way, per trip! Now thats what I call someone who is serious about biking!

I bought Sonnys book, "Lets Ride," and while introducing myself to him at Mike Corbins and having him sign my book, I explained how and why I have long envied and admired him (just as I have here). He looked up at me, and with a twinkle and glint in his eye, that I had only seen before in very old commercial Sea Captains, the type who have been all over the world and seen and done it all, he placed his thumb over his breathing hole and clearly said, “Yeah, its been a great ride!” Those five words and his sincerity in speaking them while looking me right in the eye, both amazed and inspired me!

Say, think, or believe whatever you want about Sonny Barger, but this is a Man, and a man who has truly lived!

by: CCEMN1

Ringo Starr turned 70 today!

His wish for his seventieth birthday was for everyone across the globe, at noon today, to just stop and flash the Peace Sign and say, "Peace and Love!" I cant think of a more wonderful thing to do for someone who spearheaded the movement in the sixties.

Those were troubled times, and maybe Im just an old Hippie, but it seems the Beatles not only helped me personally through those times, but stimulated a social movement that actually did change the world in a more positive way.

Well, these are certainly troubled times today, possibly even more so than the 60s, and I only hope that there were a whole lot of people out there flashing the Peace Sign?!

We sure could use people like the Beatles today, to give us some sense of unity and point us in the right direction.

Additionally, after meeting Sonny Barger this weekend, who is 72, and seeing Ringo at 70, Im convinced more than ever, that ..... I have to get to the gym!

Happy Birthday, Mr. Starr, Peace and Love!

-Chris Capp

by: CCEMN1

This is a piece I did almost a decade ago, when my Dad was still here, but I just wanted to post it to help keep his memory alive.

Watching Bud Die.

No, it’s not about destroying marijuana fields, or a late frost in the garden. Bud is my father. My father, along with millions of other Americans, has Alzheimer’s disease. My mother and I are literally watching him die! Obviously this is not a unique experience, but I find it cathartic writing about it. (It’s 4:30am right now, and I’m not sleeping!) A kind of mass group therapy and I thought other people going through a similar dilemma might appreciate my sharing.

I am no stranger to death. I held my 24-year-old sister’s cold lifeless body in my arms when I was 28 years old. I identified her body after she had been killed mountain climbing her Jeep in Colorado in the 70s. Just a few years later, I lived with Rosie, my good friend and next-door neighbor as her legal guardian, and lived and watched as she died in her late seventies. We are all fully aware of the fact that our parents will certainly die before us. (If our parents are lucky!) Maybe since I am 50 years old now and my own mortality is ever so eminent it is affecting me differently.

Part of what makes it hard is Bud was always the stalwart. A strong, agile, brilliant man. I’m sure everyone thinks of his or her father in the same way, but Bud was extraordinary!

In the 1940s he was the welterweight boxing champion of his division in the Army in Europe. After he came home from World War Two, he was a prizefighter in Philadelphia, able to knock a man out with a left hook in the third round. Much harder than doing it in the first round, because 75% of your energy is spent by the third round! He put himself through school as a musician and laborer and became an engineer working for the likes of Campbell’s Soup and Dupont in the 50s and 60s, designing highly technical food processing plants and chemical facilities. Virtually every house I lived in growing up; he built with his own hands! This was a man whose skills had no boundaries. He could repair fine watches and jewelry or do bulkheading. He was a licensed plumber, carpenter, jeweler, mathematician, and mechanic; there was literally nothing this man could not do. To watch someone that was that strong, talented and independent reduced to a veritable infant is what I find so difficult. Death is easy relative to this.

The only thing that is worse is my mother’s suffering! My parents have been married 60 years. They have both always been “anti-nursing home.” Their belief being that anyone that would put someone in a home, obviously has stopped caring and the people that work in homes know that no one cares, so they don’t have to care. You can see where it has the potential to be a sick cyclic kind of thing. My mother has often said that she took her marriage vows seriously! (How often does that occur today?!) She says that when she said; “In sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part”, she meant it! It’s just that at 78 years old, she doesn’t have the strength or stamina to take care of an infant anymore! To make matters worse, my mother has a heart condition, is overweight, diabetic, has only one eye and has glaucoma. So, we wrestle with this cruelest of nature’s hoaxes. My father, though perfectly physically sound has the mind and body functioning of a two year old. Literally! He is incontinent to the point that I fear my mother will kill herself from the laundry burden alone! Along with my father’s diminished intellectual capacity, there seems to be a child like orneriness.

A determination to do the opposite or oppose, just like a two-year old. This is enough to make anyone around him crazy after a few hours. Sometimes I try and cope by imagining my father actually died years ago, before the aberrant behavior started. (My own form of denial!) He actually did almost die seven years ago from a bad heart. In my mind I imagine he was supposed to go then. But when I look into those eyes, though vacant and shark like, they’re still the same eyes that watched with delight as I scored my first touchdown playing Pop Warner football and looked after me when he taught me to fish, or we hiked through the woods. I am at once repulsed, wanting to detach and remove myself as far as possible, and drawn in by both my parents extreme need. I feel at times schizophrenic as a result of this, lashing out at my mother for some stupid frustrating little thing, and then feeling extremely guilty. In 1970 when I was drafted into the Army, I thought that was the worst experience of my life and something I would be able to use, as a frame of reference if ever I felt things weren’t going well. I thought I could look back to that experience and no matter how bad things seemed, it wouldn’t be so bad relative to that. Well, let me tell you. That was a day at the beach compared to this! The disease progresses in steps, with some periods of seeming remission. This only makes it harder. Bud will wake up one day and be almost his old self, Lucid, coherent and able to hold a conversation. Then, a few days later the behavior will be right off the scale! Dealing with the legal end of this is a nightmare too! Both my parents worked their tails off and saved their whole lives to have something in their old age. Well, it seems they’re not rich enough to afford a nursing home, (When it becomes inevitable!) and not poor enough to be eligible for Medicaid! The joy of living in an uncivilized country without socialized medicine! A plutocracy, or government of the rich, by the rich and for the rich. I could do another ten articles on the medical situation here in this country! So, it seems now my mother has to “spend down,” to protect what few assets she and my father have left. I can see the frustration in my mother’s eyes. My grandparents on both sides died, leaving both my parents owing money! I think in part due to that, my parents have been scrimping and saving their whole lives so that they might leave my remaining sister and I something, a legacy. Fortunately, my sister and I are doing pretty well already, but I can see it increasing the madness in my mother.

This is the nightmare I wake up to every morning! Carrying a cell phone 24/7, waiting for a call that my father fell in the bay, or is lost, or some more monstrous calamity. The only advice I can give is keep looking and plan ahead! Though my father has had this disease for over ten years, it only became apparent to my mother and I a year ago. He was very clever by hiding it in humor. When asked a question that he didn’t know, (Even simple ones!) he would give a humorous answer, and no one suspected! This went on for years without anyone suspecting anything, until the behavior became even more erratic. The Federal Government requires all asset transfers be done three years prior to application for Medicaid. They really have us by the short hairs here! In most cases, like my father’s, this insidious disease creeps up unnoticed. It is even hard for doctors to diagnose in these “wham bam, thank you ‘mam” examinations that are so common today.

So stay close, stay alert, live, love and remember most of all that life is finite!
The worst part of this whole story is there is no happy ending no matter what! Chris Capp